Is the polyamory dream over - and did Lindy West kill it?

The Independent • March 31, 2026 • world

Key Points:

Lindy West's memoir "Adult Braces" chronicles her reluctant entry into polyamory after her husband, Ahamefule Oluo, began dating another woman, sparking widespread public controversy and debates about polyamory and feminism.
The public reaction to West's story highlights broader cultural anxieties about feminism, relationship norms, and the intersection of progressive politics with personal relationship choices.
Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, a leading expert on polyamory, explains that people's openness to polyamory varies widely, with some naturally inclined toward exclusivity and others toward multiple partners, and that successful polyamorous relationships often require compromises and clear communication.
Polyamory challenges traditional relationship models but can offer social benefits, such as higher emotional intelligence in children raised in polyamorous families and more flexible family structures, though it also presents complex emotional dynamics.
Critics like Kat Rosenfield argue that polyamory is a "luxury belief" often idealized by privileged progressives, and West's experience has fueled skepticism about whether open marriages can truly provide fulfillment or empowerment.

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