Psychology says the reason some people become wiser as they age while others become more rigid has nothing to do with intelligence. It depends on whether they ever learned to sit with discomfort

Key Points:

• Psychological research identifies distress tolerance—the ability to endure negative emotions, uncertainty, and ambiguity without avoidance—as a key factor distinguishing individuals who grow wiser with age from those who become rigid.
• People with low distress tolerance tend to avoid discomfort by shutting down, getting angry, or clinging to fixed beliefs, which hinders psychological growth and leads to increased rigidity over time.
• Studies show that rigidity in older adults is not inevitable and can be improved through interventions that enhance distress tolerance, such as mindfulness and therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
• Wisdom involves navigating complex, uncertain situations and holding multiple truths simultaneously, a capacity that develops through sustained engagement with discomfort rather than fleeing from it.
• Distress tolerance can be cultivated through small, deliberate practices like questioning one's own beliefs and staying present in uncomfortable conversations, enabling ongoing psychological flexibility and growth throughout life.