There's a new toxic dating trend: ‘cushioning.’ Is it cheating?

Key Points:

• Cushioning is a dating trend where someone in a monogamous relationship keeps backup romantic options, such as secretly texting an ex or maintaining flirtatious interactions, to soften potential heartbreak if their current relationship ends.
• This behavior often stems from insecurity, fear of rejection, or avoidance of addressing relationship issues directly, and is considered a form of "microcheating" that breaks the spirit of monogamous agreements even if no formal rules are violated.
• Cushioning can escalate into "monkey barring," where a person lines up a new relationship before ending the current one, and is facilitated by the anonymity and ease of dating apps, which reduce social consequences for such behavior.
• For those who have been cushioned, feelings of betrayal and self-doubt are normal, but experts advise focusing on personal growth, understanding relationship dynamics, and setting clear boundaries and definitions of commitment moving forward.
• Modern dating complexities have led to the creation of terms like cushioning to help people describe and process new relationship challenges amplified by digital communication and changing social norms.