My wife turned into a religious zealot and spiraled to her death. Then our problems really started.

Key Points:

• A father shares his struggle with his adult children blaming him for their mother's mental collapse and death after a bitter custody battle, which he won due to a prenup and higher income; the mother had become extremely devout and controlling, harming the children emotionally.
• Slate advice columnists suggest the father's focus on "crushing" the ex-wife in court may have alienated the children, who are processing complex grief and anger, often projecting blame onto him as the surviving parent.
• Experts recommend the father acknowledge the children's feelings, express compassion for their mother's illness, and avoid defensive justifications, emphasizing his ongoing support rather than defending past legal actions.
• The columnists highlight the importance of understanding the children's relationship with their mother's religious zealotry and suggest that grief may be influencing their current perceptions, advising patience and open communication over time.
• Ultimately, the advice is for the father to prioritize healing and connection with his children in the present, rather than focusing on proving he was right in the past custody dispute.