The way I climax ended my marriage. Now I'm worried it'll tank my next relationship, too.

Key Points:

• A 60-something man writes to Slate’s "How to Do It" column expressing concerns about delayed ejaculation linked to his unique solo masturbation style developed in adolescence, which contributed to his marriage ending and now affects his confidence in starting new relationships.
• The column advises that delayed ejaculation is common and often connected to idiosyncratic masturbatory styles, suggesting that abstaining from solo ejaculation temporarily and seeking help from a sex therapist could improve partnered sexual experiences.
• Another letter from a transgender man in a long-distance relationship discusses difficulty initiating phone sex with his cisgender boyfriend, who seems uncomfortable discussing sex; the advice emphasizes open communication about desires and comfort levels before trying phone intimacy.
• A reader engaged in ethical non-monogamy asks about the risks of unprotected oral sex when condoms are used for penetration; the response explains that while oral sex carries lower HIV transmission risk, bacterial STIs can still be transmitted orally, so unprotected oral sex is not without risk.
• The column encourages honest conversations about sexual boundaries and risks, highlights the importance of harm reduction strategies, and acknowledges the complexities of sexual health and communication in diverse relationship contexts.